Okay so one of the most obvious ways to tell if you are experiencing weight loss is by how your clothes are fitting, (well that is if you don't think the way I do and assume your clothes are just no longer shrinking in the wash! ) and you start to feel good about how you look because your clothes are fitting. I know that since I realized I have lost weight I have been finding myself through clothes, I have completely gone about shopping in a different way. It is no longer what fits and more about the style.
When I was home I found a box that had all my pictures in it from H.S., I looked and was shocked at what I saw. (Really really wish I had a photo to show you, so you could see for yourself. I even just went to my fb and alas there are no hs pictures on there. )
Looking at those photo's I could not believe that was me. For some strange reason I thought I looked good in H.S, but now I realize I was hiding myself behind clothes that were to big because I was ashamed of who I was. In H.S. I was relatively popular, I got good grades, was involved in clubs and sports (track and field!), I was social and I was happy but I was hiding myself behind clothes that were to big.
While I grew up being overweight I didn't experience the social downsides of it, I wasn't picked on, I wasn't picked last for things, I was friends with "the popular crowd", I wasn't an outcast. The one thing I vividly remember hating about my size was clothes. I wasn't able to fit into name brand clothes like American Eagle and Abercrombie past Jr. High. I felt that a part of me, the part that wanted to dress like everyone else and be normal with the fashion trends couldn't because I wasn't able to wear those clothes without them looking like they were painted on.
I found two different sets of photos, one where I had on the skin tight name brand clothes, and the others where I wore clothes at least three sizes to big. There was no perfect in between. When I found these photo's and was talking to a long time friend I made a comment about myself and said something along the lines of "I dressed like a tent". My friend looked at me and in a very serious thing she said that I look a lot better now, not because I have lost the weight but because I dress in a way that says "I like myself".
It was in our discussion that I realize that I didn't like myself at the time. I hid behind clothes. I wore clothes that made me feel protected. I had shirts hanging out me in a way that I could probably had stuffed another person in there! I have been thinking about this since I came back from America, and I realize that while I dressed up when I was home, in Hungary I am still dressing in the manner I did in H.S. I wear an 18 yet I'm still wearing 22/24's. My shirts that were 2xl I still wear even though I am a XL/L. Granted I've come a long way and don't wear these all the time, but the fact that I still wear these shows I am still hiding.
So as part of my mission to stop hiding and embrace the weight I have lost so far and to boost my self confidence and self esteem, I am going to start dressing to impress. The one day this week I got myself together meaning I ditched the sweats and college logo shirt, my hair wasn't pulled up, and I wore make-up I received several compliments (they may have came in the form of two very sweet children and their grandmother, but none the less it made me feel good). I realized that I don't want to hide my figure or myself any longer. I have decided to embrace myself. I am going to start putting an effort into my appearance.
I may not leave the house looking like this.....
Do you think you dress to hide your body? Or do you dress to show of the success you have accomplished so far?